Words Do Not Mean A Thing

Time after time I want to say words do not mean a thing.....  but all I do is write and type these words on pages to accurately describe my frustration.
Back and fourth along the lines, my pen is pacing as my heart races from one edge of the earth to the next. Who knew what life had in store after leaving your mother's nest? My nights have become restless, because every time I find an inkling of happiness I cling to it and become mindless. 3 nights before you loved on every inch of me, but that's just the thing. You LOVED ON every inch of me with no actual love for me. I let you in, you told me everything you thought I wanted to hear but really all I seek is truth. So again I'm sitting here saying words do not mean a thing but yet I write and write and write. Why? because every other method of expression leaves me breathless and the lies you have told are relentless, why me again? Because the universe sends the same lessons around and if you never get down and stay grounded, it replays until the message relays. I am broken, so broken and seeking something like medicine that will help me with coping, Two hits of tree and I'm choking, my mind is open but here I lay still in pieces, still broken. So tired of pain but so grateful for every moment. Training my mind to see the beauty in being let down time and time again. I tell myself when you get let down, stay grounded and become your very own best friend. Channeling the inner child who celebrated way too many accomplishments on her own. Surrounded by people but always alone. Still looking for a place to call home, dialing the numbers of my soul to call my inner child on the phone.

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